Thursday, April 19, 2007
Cocky or Confident
I have been dialoging (I am not sure it is a word but you know what I mean), actually joking with one of the football players about whether he is cocky or not. I found this. . . blog? ? ? ? at http://dpvball.tripod.com/scottsong/cocky_vs_confident.htm I thought it was well put. Here's the article. Sorry that it is rather long.
1) DOES HE HAVE INTEGRITY? Confident men are also men of integrity. When you look at guys like Maximus from "Gladiator", it was his integrity that added onto his confidence. Integrity is needed because confidence is one of those qualities that cannot be associated with "immoral things", for a truly confident individual would never need to resort to stooping low. Because integrity is so important, all the manwhores, he-sluts, drug addicts, and car thieves cannot be men of confidence. If they were so confident, they wouldn't need to rely on drugs, women, or fancy
cars to make them feel important.
2) CAN YOU MAKE FUN OF HIM? A truly confident man is able to take a joke. In other words, you should be able to make fun of him or tease him about his weaknesses and he should be able to laugh with you. A cocky guy tries to hide his insecurities and therefore will either get defensive when you tease him, or he will play it off as if it was no big deal but then dwell upon it later. Cocky guys don't know how to take a joke.
3) WHO SETS HIS STANDARDS? Confident men set their own standards, whereas cocky guys set their standards according to how others are doing. In other words, a confident man will aim for goals that he placed for himself, whereas a cocky guy just wants to be better than the people around him. So a confident man might say, "Yeah, I can do that." But a cocky guy will use comparisons and might say something like "Yeah, I'm the BEST at that" or "I am BETTER than him at that". Cocky guys need to compare in order to feed their insecurities and show that they are better than the next guy.
4) DOES HE LIFT OTHERS UP? Confident men enjoy making other people feel good about themselves, too. They can spot the strengths of another guy and praise them for it. A cocky guy only seeks praise for himself and will constantly compare his strengths to another man's weaknesses. Confident men are secure enough to acknowledge that some people are actually better than them in something.
5) IS HE TEACHABLE? Confident men love to learn. They know that there are still many things that need improvement in their lives and therefore are eager to learn from others, whether it deals with sports, hobbies, or even how to interact with other people. Cocky guys, on the other hand, are not as teachable because they have the mindset that they do not need improvement and are fine the way they are. They lack wisdom and are not open to taking advice. To them, their way is the right way, and
even when they know that their way is wrong, they find a way to justify it. They are complacent and don't feel the need to expand their minds. See, confident guys are strong IN SPITE of their weaknesses, but cocky guys are strong BECAUSE OF their strengths. See the difference?
Everybody has insecurities, but not everyone is insecure. You can have weaknesses without being weak. Insecurity drives the cocky man, but humility drives the confident man.